Alright let’s face the facts here. You losers have tiny dicks. You love to play your tiny penis, you dream of someday finding a woman that will try to play with your sad little dick, but the facts are; no one is going to want to touch that small thing much less fuck it. As I’ve told you many times before, what is the point of a woman wasting her time on something as useless as your itty penis? Face it; you and that tiny dick are going to get to spend many long years doing the two finger wank all alone! HAHA! Now my dear losers that is some funny shit.
Posts Tagged ‘Losers’
Cocks, Cocks, why are there so many Small Cocks!
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010Small Dicks and Summer Time Fun
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009The Queen has some sad news for all you small dick wonders out there; summer time is here and that means for most fun in the water. What does this mean to you? Well you already have a small cock, and going into the cold water is just going to make the poor thing shrink even more. My advice to all of you sad losers is to be very careful not to let any woman see you with your trunks down. If they do you won’t have a chance in hell of even getting to first base with the woman. But then again as we all know if you do manage to get her into bed, once you go to stick that itty bitty dick in her pussy she won’t feel a damn thing. Hell she could have more fun pleasuring herself with a tampon then your pathetic cock. Let’s see; wait a minute I’m trying to think of a solution to your problem, this is a hard one I have to admit…. Alright; the way I see it is if any of you bitches ever want to climax you have two choices; 1) buy a cantaloupe, hollow out a hole, and pump away, 2) Get yourself a Fleshlight , it feels just like a real pussy and probably will be the closest you’ll ever come to a pussy. Now go fourth and fuck some fruit or fuck you’re Fleshlight , but hey at least you’ll be fucking something for a change. HAHA!
Butts and Brooms
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009Want to fuck yourself up the ass hands free? Well all is not lost the Queen knows just what you need. Here we go now; so pay close attention; wouldn’t want any of you morons to miss any of the important details. First off you will need a mattress, a broom, “not the metal kind, the old wooden kind with a rounded end”, lube for the hole of course, last but not least, set a side enough time for playing with your funhole. Now take your broom and your lube into your bedroom, put the broom with the handle sticking out
‘do I need to point out to you morons just leave about 6 inches sticking out”, between the mattress and the box spring. Now lube up your ass, bend over, and back slowly onto the broom handle. Is it in yet? Waiting…… Alright; you know the drill, back and fourth we go, that’s a good little bitch, keep on pumping it, are you feeling that wonderful feeling building up in your pucker hole yet? That’s right; faster, oooh almost there, one more, there we go. Was that as good for you as it was for me? How you may ask was it good for me? Well fuck that’s easy; just picturing one of you sad losers, bent over, fucking yourself with a broom handle gave me the best damn laugh I’ve had in days. Here, here to the joys of broom fucking and to all the sad losers that feel compelled to take it up the ass.
Help I Have a Small Dick! HAHA!
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009It seems that some of you losers are under the impression that the Queen is into giving free advice. While I don’t mind answering a few questions here on this website, I will not do so indefinitely. I may answer two of your questions, if I’m in the mood to, but I will not keep giving you advice on your sexual problems for free. This is not a newspaper column, and I am not fucking Dear Abby. If you have a small cock, if you have a limp dick, or what ever the fuck your problem is, if you wish to get my help and advice then pick up the damn phone and call. Other wise don’t expect to take up my time here on this website.
Oh and one other thing. If you are going to ask me if I think you have a small dick, it is always helpful if you send the Queen a pic of said small cock. From what some of you are saying I don’t even think you know if you do or you don’t have a small dick. Just show me a pic; I’ll be more then happy to tell you how lacking you are in the cock department.
Still confused? Let’s go through this step by step.
1) Queen will only give out a certain amount of advice on this board, and then you must pay for it.
2) There is an email address on this site; have a small dick, send a pic.
3) In case you haven’t noticed; the Queen has a message board, have questions, go there and ask. Keep in mind though; you will only get a certain amount of my time there also. After all the Queen is very busy.
Class over, end of this lesson; do let me know if you need further help with the instructions listed above I realize some of you are slow, and if this is the case then just read over the instruction twice then maybe you’ll fully understand. After all there’s always hope for morons.
Some Times It’s Good to Be The Queen:
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009Some times it’s good to be the Queen! All the men clamor to serve the one and only Me. After all if your goal is to serve someone, you may as well serve the best. And damn have you ever seen such a lovely Bitch such as I before. Take a look at the eyes, the perfect translucent skin, the mouth you dream of kissing and the legs you would love to grovel at. Come now, you can admit it; we’re all adults here so fess up. Sad to say there is only one way any of you small dick losers will ever get close to the Queen; the phone. That’s right; want to take up my time you will have to pay a price to talk to someone as fine as the Queen. So take those stubby little fingers off that poor excuse of a cock and run, don’t walk over to the phone and let all your dreams come true. Now see how sweet I can be some times; I took the time to explain just how you can spend some time with me, now call me and thank me for my kindness.
Sweet Dreams:
Thursday, February 26th, 2009When you close your eyes do you dream about the Queen? Sure you do; after all we all dream of things we cannot have. HAHA! But hey it’s not a total loss after all any of you losers have a way to reach out and contact the Queen. That’s right any of you morons surely know how to use a phone so there you go. Just think you can call and talk with the best damn bitch you could ever dream to meet. Verbal abuse hell yes I’ve got that covered. Humiliation; you bet that and more. Got a small dick I can have a blast laughing my ass off all at your expense. Don’t worry all you little sissy bitches out there the Queen knows just what you need so got that covered too. Damn I good!
Losers Come Amuse the Queen
Saturday, December 27th, 2008Let’s play a game shall we. So here’s the deal losers, I’m bored and find I’m in the mood to have you amuse me. Now you may ask yourselves how you might amuse someone as grand as the Queen. Well I will tell you. You can give the Queen a call and tell me all about what a loser you are. Tell me about that small cock you dream of one day pleasing a woman with. Tell me about how you can’t even last 3 minutes with a real woman. Tell me about how the only date you can get is with a blow up doll. Sad to say any way you look at you have to pay for pleasure. The blow up doll cost you money and hell if you ever want to hear a woman moan while you’re having sex with her you are going to have to pay for that too. So go a head, make my day, give me a good laugh and tell the Queen all about what a sad loser you are.
Santa Baby
Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008Here’s a little tune to give all of you losers and idea of just what it takes to please the Queen. After all we all know that money makes the world go around so naturally it takes the green stuff to make the Queen happy. So now that you have a clear picture of what it takes to make the Queen happy I would suggest you hop to it.
My Ding A Ling
Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008The Queen was listening to a little tune tonight and couldn’t help but think of all of you sad losers. After all we all know all of you are obsessed with your small cocks. This song is all about not being able to keep your hands off that ding a ling. The sad part is you losers just don’t have much to wank on now do you? Sad for you, but funny as hell for me, and after all everyone needs a good laugh. So in honor of all of you little dick men out there I’m putting “My Ding a Ling” up just for you. No need to thank me; just picturing all you trying to pull on your tiny dicks is more then enough to make me happy.
I Beg Your Pardon….
Thursday, April 24th, 2008I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden, but I will give you thorns.HAHA! Have you ever given any thought to the other wonderful uses of a rose garden? Well the Queen has and I think perhaps I might just be in the mood to share them with you. So my little losers, sit back, relax, close your eyes and try to envision a dark night, just you, me and the lovely red roses. There’s a chill in the air, you have goose bumps on your skin, yet your skin feels alive with heat. You stand before your beautiful Queen, eager to please, all I have to do is give the order and you will obey. My creamy white skin glows in the dark night, you can’t help but to gaze into my hypnotic eyes; you know you are mine. I allow you to stand there for a bit taking in all my glory, you see my wicked smile. You feel fear at first, yet you cannot leave for you know to leave would mean you would never get to experience the glorious rapture to come. I tell you to disrobe, then to go deep into the garden and bring me back 30 red roses, each with long stems all with the thorns. Once you have acquired the roses with thorns you kneel before your Queen waiting for your next order. I tell you to lay all but two of the roses with thorns down a few feet a part in a straight line. You are curious why I would tell you to do this but yet know better then to ever question your Queen. Now I tell you to place one of the two roses I told you to keep in your mouth. Now get on your hands and knees and slowly crawl down that path of roses and thorns. You start to crawl, the thorns are piercing your hands, knees, legs and feet, each prick stings and burns, yet you keep crawling. Suddenly you feel a hot stinging pain on your butt cheeks and realize your Queen is whipping you with the one rose she kept. Once you’ve made it to the end of the rose/thorn path I tell you to gather up all the roses you just crawled over and lay them in a larger pile. Now lie on top of the roses and thorns, roll over, and wiggle on your stomach. You feel stabbing hot pain, 100’s of needles digging into your tender cock flesh, yet you are getting more and more aroused. And with that arousal comes more pain while that pecker grows. I now stand over you, whipping you with the one rose I kept, ordering you to pump your hips, that’s right act like you are humping a women, faster! You raise your hips; keep pumping that worthless cock into the bed of roses. Ooooooh you scream, my Queen, my Queen, and then nothing but sweet ecstasy. While you lay there shaking with pleasure you feel a tearing pain across your back. Then you hear your Queens wicked laughter telling your worthless ass to get up, you’re not done yet. You see that mess you made in those lovely red roses? Get on your hands and knees and lick that cum off each and every petal, every stem, and yes every thorn! Now you have served your purpose for the evening, you may crawl over to your clothes and leave the way you came. I will linger here and just sit and laugh for a bit at the picture of you fucking those thorns. HAHA! THE END!
See the pleasure you can experience if you go over to the dark side and call your Queen. Don’t get use to hot stories like that my sorry losers; that one was just to show you what wonderful sick things go on in my lovely head. Sweet dreams. HAHA! 