Posts Tagged ‘Little Pecker’

Are You Ready to Take The Cock Pledge?

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

Well now my little loser the Queen thinks it’s time for all of you to do a little spring cleaning. I know all of you piss heads have been neglecting your over all pecker hygiene. Let’s face it, it’s time to trim the bush and buff the cock. Face it you might have a better chance of getting someone to pay attention to that useless dick if you improve the over all look. Also if you trim that hairy thatch that tiny wiener might look a little bigger. So here’s what the Queen wants you to do to improve the over all look of that poor excuse of a ding a ling.

Okay dip shits repeat after me; I swear to trim my bush and polish my tiny dick at least once a week for my Lovely Queen. Alright if you said your cock pledge then let’s proceed. First off you will need to have these items ready to begin your task, something to trim with, a cloth, and a can of lemon or orange furniture polish “Pledge if you have this in your area”. Now to begin you will need to trim that bush in what ever manner you feel you can accomplish without cutting your little pecker off. Next clean all the trimmed hair away, and then perform your favorite hand shake on your cock to make it nice and hard, spray your dick with Pledge from base to tip, then slowly start buffing your cock from base to tip till it has a nice shine. Oh yes I know; that little dick now feels the need to cum, you want to shoot that load so bad now don’t you? Well tough shit moron the Queen didn’t give you permission to cum so if you spew your goo you had better be ready to lick every last drop up! Now if you managed to complete this task without jacking off you have proven you can follow instructions and your tiny Dick now has a nice shine and smells like citrus. Go out find a woman, see if you can get lucky, if you get her to sample your cock she will be most happy that you were thoughtful enough to trim the pecker and give it that nice clean smell. If you were one of the losers that couldn’t finish and had to cum; well at least it smells nice but doubt you will have any luck with the ladies. After all you have no self control so how long would you last between the sheets anyway. HAHA! LOSER!!!!

The Itty Bitty Pecker

Monday, April 7th, 2008

I can see before you call that your pecker is too small! That’s right piss heads bet you didn’t know that the Queen is also clairvoyant. I can say with up most confidence that most of you have what only can be termed as “less then adequate equipment”. I can also say that most of you “if not all” don’t even have the brain cells to be able to notice that; “The women you are with are not enjoying that miniature cock”. Do you ever notice when you pull out your itty bitty dick that maybe she has a look of shock? Do you know why she has that look of shock on her face? In answer to that, this is what’s going on in your head right now; “we are experiencing technical difficulties due to the realization that you do have a small pecker” tecdiff.jpg . Well dipshit had enough time yet to get that brain back on track? Well then let’s continue. I will try to explain for the 100th time that a small cock is only pleasing to the moron that it’s dangling from. That tiny dick has been your pride and joy since the first day you discovered you could wank and pull on it and get that feel good feeling you now know and love. When you try to poke a women with it “yes I said poke because half the time you miss the hole”, she is wondering when you will be done. Why she is wondering when it will be over? The reason is; IF SHE’S NOT FEELING PAIN OR PLEASURE THEN WHY BOTHER! That’s right; she’s thinking how in the hell did I end up with a small dick, useless pecker head AGAIN! Do you have any idea how big of a let down it is for a women to find out that once again she is going to be in for another disappointing night? No, that’s the problem with you morons; you are always thinking about your useless pride and joy. So tell me what have you learned from my words of wisdom? Do you now know you are the only one that enjoys the little pecker that thought it could, a women doesn’t want what little you have to offer nor need it, so now you know; keep that damn small thing to yourselves! End of lesson one, do let me know if you need lesson 2.