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Butts and Brooms



Want to fuck yourself up the ass hands free? Well all is not lost the Queen knows just what you need. Here we go now; so pay close attention; wouldn’t want any of you morons to miss any of the important details. First off you will need a mattress, a broom, “not the metal kind, [...]

Joys of Loaf Fucking:



It’s a nice lovely day, the aroma of bread baking in the oven drifts through the house. You wonder into the kitchen lured by the fragrance of the baking bread. Standing in front of the oven you feel the heat warm your body and a thought occurs to you. I wonder what it would feel [...]

Drunk Dumbasses Who Call Phone Sex Lines



If there is one thing I love to hate, it’s the drunk dumbasses who call at every god-awful hour of the night. Now, mind you, a lot of these morons will spend some good $$, but lately, they just call up and slur their words for 5 minutes and then hang up. Borrrrrrring! Ya, and [...]