Posts Tagged ‘Dumb Ass’

Hard To Be Humble

Friday, September 14th, 2007

Oh lord it’s hard to be humble when you are perfect like the Queen. I can’t wait to look in the mirror because I get better looking each day. Anything I drape upon my beautiful body only serves to enhance how exquisite I really am. I add touches of make-up to my porcelain complexion to drive the men wild. I know men love to look at the Queen, and many have dreams of serving the Queen, but few will ever prove worthy of this privilege. Little sissy boys would love to have the Queen teach them the fine art of applying make-up since I am just so damn good at everything I do. Oh lord I’ll never be humble, I am perfect at everything I do, and the best damn bitch you will ever meet. So if you ever feel the need to grovel at the feet of a perfect women, then dumb ass you know who to call.

A Story Of A Loser

Friday, April 13th, 2007

The queen went to the store last night just to get a few things to fix for dinner. While standing in line waiting for the new check out girl to figure out how to run a credit card this man standing behind me starts talking to the queen. I turn and smile at him then ignore his sorry ass. When I finally finish my check out and walk out of the building I see out of the corner of my eye that this fool is running to catch up with me. Just when I get to my SUV and start to put my things in the back he comes up trying to talk to the queen yet again. Now as you should know by now the queen does not like to be bothered by pathetic losers. I turn and look him straight in the eyes, smile my most evil smile, and tell him to stop wasting my time and go look for someone in his own league. He then starts to beg the queen to take the time to get to know him. I start laughing, turn and look at him, tell him that I can tell that he is not worthy material for my talents and I never waste my time on spineless weasels. I then get into my auto, and notice as I’m pulling away that this fool is still standing there with this hopeless dumb ass look on his face. I could not help myself, first I smile, and then I started laughing and kept laughing the whole drive home. After that little bit of fun I thought dinner could wait so I sat back and had a nice glass of wine smiling at the memory of yet one more loser knocked down by the queen. HA HA, Next.

AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM YOUR QUEEN:

Tuesday, June 20th, 2006

DON’T YOU DARE, ever address me as mistress. You will always address me as Queen, other wise I will hang up on your dumb ass.

Another thing, don’t expect me to try and figure out what floats your boat. If you don’t know what makes your sorry little gherkin hard then that’s your problem piss head. Ha Ha

Officer Barney Fife, Another Sucker For The Queen… hehehehehe ;-)

Monday, May 22nd, 2006

Cops, cops oh how I love my fun with the fuzz. If there is one thing that this southern belle knows how

to do it’s to charm a pig. I never get a speeding ticket because as you should know by now I have my

special charms. I know from the moment the cop looks at me that I will be able to talk my way out of a

ticket, and I have never failed.

The other day I was in hurry and some fool cop with nothing better to do

pulls me over to get his ticket of the day. Well like always I can see the way that he is looking at me and

know that once again there will be no ticket for little ol’ me. I smile and sweet talk Mr. Cop Man and

since he is not use to anything as fine as me paying him such attention he is putty in my hands. I never

have to go on a date or sleep with the dumb ass; I just lead him to believe that he may have a chance

with something as hot as me. Then I drive off with him still standing there smiling and looking like the

idiot he really is. And yes I laugh all the way home.