Fat Guys with Small Cocks:

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One of the things I find amusing is fat guys with small cocks. Oh yes indeed nothing makes the Queen laugh more then seeing a fat guy with a small dick. Big tub of lard stomach hanging down, rolls of fat, and then looking down you see what; a tiny little pecker trying to peek out. I mean hell, how in the world do you find that small penis to even have a wank on it? Another good question would be is how do you think a woman is going to find the small cock that thinks it can? Even if she does find it, I would say the most fun she will have with that sad little dick is to laugh her ass off at the sight of it. Like I’ve said before; can’t suck it, can’t wank it, and you sure as hell can’t fuck it.

Scott’s Small Dick

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Well now Scott has been kind enough to send his lovely Queen some most amusing pictures of his small cock. And when I say small cock I’m not whistling Dixie, this poor sad loser has one of the smallest dicks I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen many little peckers in my day. You might need to pull out a magnifying glass to see Scott’s itty bitty cock, but I assure you it’s there trying it’s best to come out and play. Oooh and look closer, he even had his little gherkin pierced. I wonder was that so others might see his worthless dick or was it because he’s just so sad about having such a useless cock that he decided what the hell I will decorate the sad thing so at least it might look pretty. Either way Scott I have some bad news for you; no matter what you do the sad truth is your dick is too small to suck or fuck so I really can’t see you having any fun with the tiny cock that thought it could. But hey all’s not lost; you can always take more fun pics to amuse your lovely Queen.

I have nothing else to do, so I measure my small cock!

So you not only have a small dick but your sad enough to take the time to measure the tiny thing. This brings up a good question; do you really need to measure that itty thing to know it’s to damn small? Just take a good look down there and it should be easy enough for you to see yes indeed you do have a small dick. Another dead give away would be the fact that when women see your little cock they laugh and no fun night for you. Oh well back home to do the two finger wank for all you sad losers. Wank, wank, that’s all fun you will ever have with the useless tiny dick between your legs. All’s not lost though; you can always send the Queen a pic of the small dick that thought it could, and all of us can have a good laugh.
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Small Cock Dreams


Yes that’s right; I said small cock dreams, because after that’s all you can do is dream. Poor tiny dick men, you want someone to play with that itty cock, but no sooner then you drop your pants and show a woman your goods, then the deal is off. HAHA! When are you going to stop kidding yourselves, and face up to the fact that no woman wants to waste her time on a small dick man. So my sad little loser’s looks like it’s just you and your two finger jerk off from now till the end of your days. But hey if you ever want to hear what it sounds like to hear a woman moan with pleasure you can always listen to this clip. Now that’s some funny shit.

Carrots and Small Cock Humiliation


Did you know that most of you losers can’t even compete with a small carrot? Yes that’s right; most of you can only dream of being as big as a small carrot. Sad little dick men, to small to fuck, to small to suck, and for some to small to even have a good wank. Oh I wish I may, I wish I might, have my cock I could wank tonight. HAHA! Keep wishing losers, but truth be told you will always have small useless dicks that no woman will ever want to waste her time on. So looks like you will have to keep on trying to do the two finger wank.

Sad Fat Guy with a Small Cock:

Watch more tiny dick videos here



Look it’s a beached whale, no it’s a mushroom, oh no I know what it is; it’s peek a boo pecker! Gee talk about a fat guy with no dick; well almost no dick. HAHA! Poor girl is having a hard time just finding his small cock much less trying to figure out what she’s suppose to do with it. Hard as she tries she just can’s get that pecker to grow to a decent size. I mean really what’s a girl suppose to do with a small dick wonder that not only is fat, has a tiny cock, but hell you can’t even find this fat fucks balls! No need to waste your time trying to suck it, ride it, and really trying to give this sad loser a hand job is so not worth any woman’s time, so why bother. But hey it sure is funny as hell to watch her try to play with the peek a boo pecker that thought it could. And I bet small dick man is happy, because someone is finally touching his little sad cock.

Small Dicks and Summer Time Fun

The Queen has some sad news for all you small dick wonders out there; summer time is here and that means for most fun in the water. What does this mean to you? Well you already have a small cock, and going into the cold water is just going to make the poor thing shrink even more. My advice to all of you sad losers is to be very careful not to let any woman see you with your trunks down. If they do you won’t have a chance in hell of even getting to first base with the woman. But then again as we all know if you do manage to get her into bed, once you go to stick that itty bitty dick in her pussy she won’t feel a damn thing. Hell she could have more fun pleasuring herself with a tampon then your pathetic cock. Let’s see; wait a minute I’m trying to think of a solution to your problem, this is a hard one I have to admit…. Alright; the way I see it is if any of you bitches ever want to climax you have two choices; 1) buy a cantaloupe, hollow out a hole, and pump away, 2) Get yourself a Fleshlight , it feels just like a real pussy and probably will be the closest you’ll ever come to a pussy. Now go fourth and fuck some fruit or fuck you’re Fleshlight , but hey at least you’ll be fucking something for a change. HAHA!

Help I Have a Small Dick! HAHA!

It seems that some of you losers are under the impression that the Queen is into giving free advice. While I don’t mind answering a few questions here on this website, I will not do so indefinitely. I may answer two of your questions, if I’m in the mood to, but I will not keep giving you advice on your sexual problems for free. This is not a newspaper column, and I am not fucking Dear Abby. If you have a small cock, if you have a limp dick, or what ever the fuck your problem is, if you wish to get my help and advice then pick up the damn phone and call. Other wise don’t expect to take up my time here on this website.

Oh and one other thing. If you are going to ask me if I think you have a small dick, it is always helpful if you send the Queen a pic of said small cock. From what some of you are saying I don’t even think you know if you do or you don’t have a small dick. Just show me a pic; I’ll be more then happy to tell you how lacking you are in the cock department.

Still confused? Let’s go through this step by step.
1) Queen will only give out a certain amount of advice on this board, and then you must pay for it.
2) There is an email address on this site; have a small dick, send a pic.
3) In case you haven’t noticed; the Queen has a message board, have questions, go there and ask. Keep in mind though; you will only get a certain amount of my time there also. After all the Queen is very busy.

Class over, end of this lesson; do let me know if you need further help with the instructions listed above I realize some of you are slow, and if this is the case then just read over the instruction twice then maybe you’ll fully understand. After all there’s always hope for morons.