Fat Guys with Small Cocks:

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One of the things I find amusing is fat guys with small cocks. Oh yes indeed nothing makes the Queen laugh more then seeing a fat guy with a small dick. Big tub of lard stomach hanging down, rolls of fat, and then looking down you see what; a tiny little pecker trying to peek out. I mean hell, how in the world do you find that small penis to even have a wank on it? Another good question would be is how do you think a woman is going to find the small cock that thinks it can? Even if she does find it, I would say the most fun she will have with that sad little dick is to laugh her ass off at the sight of it. Like I’ve said before; can’t suck it, can’t wank it, and you sure as hell can’t fuck it.

Carrots and Small Cock Humiliation


Did you know that most of you losers can’t even compete with a small carrot? Yes that’s right; most of you can only dream of being as big as a small carrot. Sad little dick men, to small to fuck, to small to suck, and for some to small to even have a good wank. Oh I wish I may, I wish I might, have my cock I could wank tonight. HAHA! Keep wishing losers, but truth be told you will always have small useless dicks that no woman will ever want to waste her time on. So looks like you will have to keep on trying to do the two finger wank.

Cinderfella; the Sissy Slut:

Once upon a time there was a sissy slut named Cinderfella. Oh how she loved to dress up in pretty gowns, panties and stockings. Feeling these lovely things next to her skin always made her little dick so hard. Often she would rub her little cock just to feel the pleasure of the soft lace panties sliding back an fourth across her cock. She longed for someone to share this with, someone to bring more joy and pleasure to her life. But sad to say for now all Cinderfella could do was play with herself, all alone.
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Oh Dear Little Willy Wont Go Home

North side, east side
Little Willy, Willy wears the crown, he’s the smallest cock in town
Dancing, glancing
Willy drives them silly with his little pecker looking sad and down
Way past one, and feeling all right
‘Cos with little Willy round they can laugh all night
Hey down, stay down, stay down now

‘Cos little Willy, Willy won’t go home
But you can’t push Willy round
Willy won’t go, try tellin’ everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won’t go home

Up town, down town
Little Willy, Willy drives them wild with his little dick style
Inside, outside
Willy sends them silly with his peek a boo pecker and smile
Mama done chased Willy down through the hall
But laugh, Willy laugh, he don’t care at al
Hey down, stay down, stay down, down

‘Cos little Willy, Willy won’t go home
But you can’t push Willy round
Willy won’t go, try tellin’ everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won’t go home

Little Willy, Willy won’t
Willy won’t, Willy won’t
Little Willy, Willy won’t
Willy won’t, Willy won’t
Little Willy, Willy won’t
Willy won’t, Willy won’t
Little Willy, Willy won’t
Willy won’t, Willy won’t

Little Willy, Willy won’t go home
But you can’t push Willy round
Willy won’t go, try tellin’ everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won’t go home

Little Willy, Willy won’t go home
But you can’t push Willy round
Willy won’t go, try tellin’ everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won’t go home

And the moral to this little tune you may ask? Well hell that should be an easy one for you to answer; little Willy is a dumbass that doesn’t get the fact that everyone is laughing at his useless small cock. 😆

My Ding A Ling

The Queen was listening to a little tune tonight and couldn’t help but think of all of you sad losers. After all we all know all of you are obsessed with your small cocks. This song is all about not being able to keep your hands off that ding a ling. The sad part is you losers just don’t have much to wank on now do you? Sad for you, but funny as hell for me, and after all everyone needs a good laugh. So in honor of all of you little dick men out there I’m putting “My Ding a Ling” up just for you. No need to thank me; just picturing all you trying to pull on your tiny dicks is more then enough to make me happy.

Joys of Loaf Fucking:

It’s a nice lovely day, the aroma of bread baking in the oven drifts through the house. You wonder into the kitchen lured by the fragrance of the baking bread. Standing in front of the oven you feel the heat warm your body and a thought occurs to you. I wonder what it would feel like to take that nice warm loaf of bread, cut a hole into the back, hollow it out just a bit, and slide my fat cock deep inside. Yessss you think, this could be almost like fucking someone real. The hole in the loaf would be so warm, so snug; in and out you could go with that little dick. Pumping in an out, Oh yes, oh yes, that feels so damn good! Harder, faster, your almost there, ready to shoot your hot load. Then right when you cum, right when you are feeling the after glow, you hear; WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? You turn and there she is your other half, her face red with anger. You just stand their Dick in that loaf of bread, not knowing what to do. She walks over slowly, and then she says something you thought never to hear from her lips. She smiles a wicked smile, and then says that loaf should have an extra salty taste to it now; thanks to you. So my dear you get the pleasure of eating the whole loaf, right here and now in front of me. I’m not asking my sweet; I’m ordering you to eat that loaf right now. Slowly you remove the loaf from your limp cock, bring the loaf up to your mouth and start eating. While chewing you hear her laughing, and then to your shock she turns and says; I’m glad to know that there’s something in this world you’re good at fucking!HAHA Now it’s just to bad that the yeast in the bread can’t make that cock of yours grow nice and big like the bread; then I to might have something to fuck.

Coming To a Theater Near You!

The amazing Pecker! That’s right folks you heard me right; the amazing pecker. See Mr. Pecker stand at attention with the slightest breeze! It can stand, it can thrust, hell it can poke, it can shoot, and it can fornicate! Heck there is not much that Mr. Pecker can’t do in this world; I tell you true. Please don’t get Mr.Pecker confused with Little Dick That Thought It Could; they are nothing a like. Little Dick is just another one of those useless cocks that just never did make the grade. Can’t please a women; can’t even fit the thing in a glory hole because you guessed it; it’s to damn short. You know you can’t even take Little Dick for a ride because the damn cock just keeps slipping out of the woman’s hole. Another problem Little Dick has is finding a condom to fit. They just don’t make any for small cocks. I guess they figure why the hell bother; chances are the tiny cock will slip out before it’s goo spews.

Now let’s take a moment to compare Mr. Pecker with Little Dick. Mr. Pecker is so big he cast a shadow, Little dick cast no shadow but does appear every so often peeking out of the bush. Mr. Pecker plays well with others, Little Dick plays well with himself. Mr. Pecker takes a licking and keeps on thrusting, Little Dick can’t be found for a lick much less a thrust. So I guess it’s clear to see; all the ladies love Mr. Pecker and cry when they see Little Dick.

Are You Ready to Take The Cock Pledge?

Well now my little loser the Queen thinks it’s time for all of you to do a little spring cleaning. I know all of you piss heads have been neglecting your over all pecker hygiene. Let’s face it, it’s time to trim the bush and buff the cock. Face it you might have a better chance of getting someone to pay attention to that useless dick if you improve the over all look. Also if you trim that hairy thatch that tiny wiener might look a little bigger. So here’s what the Queen wants you to do to improve the over all look of that poor excuse of a ding a ling.

Okay dip shits repeat after me; I swear to trim my bush and polish my tiny dick at least once a week for my Lovely Queen. Alright if you said your cock pledge then let’s proceed. First off you will need to have these items ready to begin your task, something to trim with, a cloth, and a can of lemon or orange furniture polish “Pledge if you have this in your area”. Now to begin you will need to trim that bush in what ever manner you feel you can accomplish without cutting your little pecker off. Next clean all the trimmed hair away, and then perform your favorite hand shake on your cock to make it nice and hard, spray your dick with Pledge from base to tip, then slowly start buffing your cock from base to tip till it has a nice shine. Oh yes I know; that little dick now feels the need to cum, you want to shoot that load so bad now don’t you? Well tough shit moron the Queen didn’t give you permission to cum so if you spew your goo you had better be ready to lick every last drop up! Now if you managed to complete this task without jacking off you have proven you can follow instructions and your tiny Dick now has a nice shine and smells like citrus. Go out find a woman, see if you can get lucky, if you get her to sample your cock she will be most happy that you were thoughtful enough to trim the pecker and give it that nice clean smell. If you were one of the losers that couldn’t finish and had to cum; well at least it smells nice but doubt you will have any luck with the ladies. After all you have no self control so how long would you last between the sheets anyway. HAHA! LOSER!!!!